To the Mom who feels she is doing it all wrong …

I see you.

I see your weary eyes & tear-stained cheeks.

I see your well-dressed littles & know deep inside you have neglected yourself for their sake.

I hear your trembling voice.

I watch your insecure mannerisms.

I feel your comparison.

Your gauge.

Your determination to “measure up”.

I get it.

I see you.

I hear you.

I feel you.

I AM you.

We are raising these humans and we are trying to keep our sanity.

We have walked away from careers & hobbies & spontaneity, all for the sake of 20+ years from now.

We aim for meaningful conversation, but we end up with small talk & awkward silence.

We plan purposeful events & memory-building moments, and we end up with blurry pictures & blurry eyes.

We try to capture it all & in the process we miss so much.

We are seeking to be all things to all our people & we keep losing track of ourselves.

We won’t give ourselves a break or let ourselves off the hook.

This thing…this motherhood thing…

It’s so hard.

It’s painful to our bodies & our hearts & our core.

And so we isolate ourselves in a cocoon of safety & routine.

We stick to the plan & we clean up the messes & we look around at the end of the day & wonder how we will do it all again tomorrow.

And some days, if we are just being brutally honest, we don’t want to.

We want to sail away into the sunset…drive away and not look back…pack a bag, grab a map & go searching for the person we lost along the way.

Our people, they need us.

They need us for dental appointments & haircuts & toilet paper & school pictures.

They need us for concert attendance & lunch money & white poster board at 10 pm.

They need us for forgotten papers & winter coats & food…all the time, food.

But, here’s the thing.

They need us for so much more than that.

They need us for validation & for inspiration & for recommendation.

They need hard truth.

And fierce hugs.

And honesty.

They need us to be okay with ourselves. With our bodies & our minds & our choices.

They need to know that we can love them because we love ourselves & we love each other.

We can’t go around clipping each other off at the knees because we have a better recipe or a better house or a better life.

We need to be a tribe.

We need to have each other’s backs when we fail. We need to reach out and help each other up and be for each other what we need most for ourselves.

We are a team, mommas.

If we raise our kids to think we have all the answers & we need no one, we raise them to believe a lie.

If we raise them comparing and complaining, we will reap entitled, selfish adults.

If we don’t let them see we are vulnerable & that we fail & that we need each other, we raise them to believe they can exist alone…and they will become bitter, lonely adults.

Look around, mommas.

Phone a friend.

Make eye contact.

Look across the parking lot or grocery store aisle or waiting room office.

We are there.

Each and every one of us.

We need each other.

Every. Single. Day.

Don’t give up.

Hang on. Be the help while you wait for the help. Meet the need while you are needy. Reach out a hand when you feel most like reaching into yourself.

Together, we can make this thing happen.

And even if we never have a Pioneer Woman meal or a Joanna Gaines home or a Jillian Michaels body, we will have each other.

There is strength in numbers.

Look for me because I will be looking for you, sweet momma friends.

We’ve got this.

and so there is that…

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Author:

married mother of 5. lover of hot chocolate, books, and all things vintage. country girl with a city girl heart.

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