As I lay here in the dark on what will be almost your last night under this roof for the foreseeable future, there are so many things I want to say.
My arm still holds the sting from the tattoo commemorating this momentous journey, and my heart simultaneously stings from the knowledge that things will never quite be the same again.
I watched you pack tonight.
I watched you try and gather as much of “home” as you could cram into those two large suitcases and while you compressed clothing and necessities, my heart was compressing 19 years and 8 months of memories.
I want to remember it all.
I want to collect every moment we have shared and bottle it up like fine wine so we can open it up with a loud burst when you return and spend the evening saying, “Remember when…”
And yet even as I watched you, I knew there were things I had already forgotten. So very many things my mind could not access anymore.
I want to chase after you as you walk away from me at the airport reminding you to look both ways before you cross the street and to not talk to strangers and to PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
I want to remind you to use sunscreen and leave big tips and let people off the hook of high expectations.
I want to cover you in full body armor and bubble wrap your heart and whisper to you that everyone in this world is not nice, but that everyone needs love.
I want to remind you of all the truth I’ve ever told you and all the Bible verses you ever learned and I want to hug your heart tightly and remind you that grace is unmerited, but so needed by the world.
I want you to be able to feel my mom heart 2,409 miles away. I want you to hear my voice inside you when the world lets you down and things don’t go as planned.
Mostly, i want you to know how very brave I think you are…How amazing I find it that you would take such a giant leap of faith and chase after a higher plan. His ways are not our ways, and yet, you are willing to trust and follow.
Go with my blessing, sweet girl. Chase after all that is adventurous and beautiful and look wide-eyed at it all…soak it all in…breathe in every second of this amazing journey. We will be here when you come home, and we will share those memories and stories along with what I know will be many new ones.
You are loved.
You are smart.
You. Are. Enough.
Now, it’s time to go show the world what we have all around here already known.
May you feel the love across all the miles from all of us who have been chapters in your story thus far…and may the new chapters you now write continue to tell a most beautiful story.
I love you endlessly…